I asked one of my coaching clients to pay attention to how much they were judging themselves. They said they didn’t think it would be a big deal because judgement was not something that was a challenge for them. When we hopped back on the phone for their next session, they said, “Kerri, I had no idea I judged myself so much. This was an eye-opening experiment.”
In return, I said “That is the funny thing about awareness. When you are not paying attention to something, it seems like it doesn’t exist. It’s like paying attention to green Mini Coopers. When you are not looking for them, you don’t see them, but the moment I ask you to look for the green Mini Coopers, you find them everywhere.”
My point here is that it is important for us to be aware of how we are interacting with our world, especially when we are a leader. Many times we have resistance that is holding us back, and we don’t even realize it!
Shifting your mindset from resisting to allowing can have a positive impact on your impact as a leader. In order to make that shift, you must have an awareness and understanding of what is holding you back so you can release the resistance and allow all of the good stuff to happen.
There are three main components that allow us to shift from resisting to allowing. Let’s explore!
Understand Your Personality
If you are wired to move quickly, think big picture and not get bogged down with details, interacting with a person that moves a bit slower, asks questions and likes stability will be a challenge for you. And you will be a challenge for them!
Remember, awareness is the first step. Getting under the surface and understanding the complexities of everyone’s personality can reveal resistance and help you make the shift.
Understand Your Experiences
You carry around a backpack. Everyone does! Your backpack goes with you wherever you go. It contains all of your experiences (good and bad). You are always adding to your backpack. It is a culmination of your life and is unique to you. It’s part of what makes you who you are. What makes sense to you because of the experiences you carry around may not make sense to someone else. The experiences you carry around in your backpack can trigger all kinds of resistance.
In my work, I help clients unpack their backpacks to bring awareness to their experiences and how they might be impacting their interactions, expectations, and overall leadership.
Understand Your Beliefs
Your personality and your experiences create your belief structure. Your belief structure is your truth–what you hold to be true. If you believe something to be true and someone wants you to believe something different, what are you most likely to do? Resist!
Exploring and understanding your beliefs allows you to gain clarity and perspective when making choices.
Do you want everyone on your team to be performing at their best? Are you looking for your team to bring innovative ideas and opportunities to the table? There might be some wonderful things that could happen if you let go of resistance and just allow them.
Let me know how many green Mini Coopers you see on your travels. My guess is that you will notice them everywhere!
In my Coach Approach Leadership Guide, I talk more about the shift from resisting to allowing, which is part of the triad of transformation. There is great power in making small shifts, so download your copy of the guide today.